Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Are You Ready??

October is almost over and that means one thing:
...well...actually, it means several things (such as it's going to keep getting colder and colder outside, Halloween is upon us, and it makes us realize that this year is practically flying by...I mean, two months until 2014!) but the main thing that the end of October signifies is:
NaNoWriMo time!  The month long write-a-thon where all you do is eat-sleep-breathe writing.
Last year, NaNoWriMo was awesome for me.  I finished out the month with just over 50,000 words, and since then, that manuscript has been finished and edited (and re-edited).  I have a hard copy of this manuscript that I can hold in my hands and know that it's all mine.  That I did it.  For those grueling 30 days, I have something wonderful to show for it.  And that is an  awesome feeling.
So after all of that, you would think I would be excited for this year's NaNoWriMo, ready to start (well continue) another adventure, and ready to take my characters to new heights and places.  But....
This year feels different.  I mean, I'm sure I'm fretting over nothing, but I almost feel like I can't do it again...
Don't get me wrong, I have no doubt I can write another book.  The story goes on, and I will write it.  But 30 days?  Last year was hard...and anyone who talked to me that month, probably hated me during those 30 days (I see you nodding in agreement...), but honestly, for that one month, I didn't do anything but work and write.  I got up, went to work, and as soon as 5:30 hit, I was off to Barnes and Noble or to my kitchen table with laptop in hand.  I'd stay up way too late trying to finish this scene or that (or trying to start said scene), and then I'd wake up and do it all again.  And I can't even tell you how many times I broke down in the Barnes and Noble cafĂ© because I had only managed 250 words that night or because the screen was just as blank as when I started 3 hours earlier.  And yet, I'm supposed to be ready to sign up for that all over again?
Don't get me wrong...the payoff was totally worth every minute. 
And that's what I keep telling myself as we get closer and closer to November 1. 
Apparently I've been slightly unmotivated lately, and it's time for a change.  Having a goal and a set deadline may be exactly what I need to turn things around.  Besides, the book won't write itself, and I may as well join in with everyone else during this month.  We can all suffer...and reap the rewards together. 
I love writing.  This post is in no way to say that I do not enjoy writing or my characters or my story or anything else about writing.  What I don't enjoy is deadlines...and missing them...so therefore, if I don't have a deadline, I can't miss it (see my logic?), but without a deadline I tend to not get much done. 
So even though I am in no way prepared for November (due to the fact that I was going to sit this one out), I am not going to let the opportunity pass by. Am I ready to write 50,000 words in 30 days on a book that I have no idea what's going to happen? No. But am I going to do it anyway? Yes. (Am I sort of being forced into it by a friend? Yes. AM I grateful to said friend for this? Yes. <--I'm saying this now because I'm sure at times in November I probably won't seem very grateful).
So here's to the last couple days of freedom before 30 days of (what I hope is) awesome writing. 
Let's see if we can make it 2 in a row!!